News from Jules | 07.09.2018 | Finding the One

It takes a village to raise a child, they say.

Well, I say: it takes a race track to sustain an adult.

There’s nothing like a big change or injury recovery to remind us.

We are the only one in the driver’s seat of our own life—our race car. But, to stay on the track and in the race, we need support.

I know, I know. Not that life is about winning or losing, that’s not the point of the metaphor.

The point is the support:

• The pit crew that quickly changes the tires, tightens bolts, cleans mirrors
• The sponsors who contribute and show their support
• The fans who show up and cheer along

Over the last month of limited mobility as my knee has been healing from the bike accident, there has been so much of this support.

So much more of this support, I should say.

We always need a pit crew, sponsors, fans. Not just when big things happen, but in our day-to-day when little things are broken or healing.

These people are often in flux, relative to the circumstances of our life—a reason, a season, a lifetime—and and to our needs at that time—emotional, physical, spiritual, all of the above and/or more.

As such, sometimes they’re on a project right now or sometimes they’re a best friend in a cycle of closeness.

My longest standing, closest friendship is going on 22 years. Most of which we’ve lived in different countries. There have been months without communication. Right now, we text every few days.

It’s not actually about the years or depth, but there is always a meaningful connection with these people.

That’s why they’re your pit crew, your sponsors, your fans, not just some person in the stands, some acquaintance in your life.

Bottomline, all of this support doesn’t fall on “the one.” There is no “the one.” 

That’s the advice I was given during graduate school about finding a professional mentor and about finding a husband, actually. Same goes for a best friend. So stop looking.

“You can’t meet all your needs through one person,” she said.

Not only because one person can’t shoulder this burden, but because they can’t be good at everything, nor available all the time.

It’s been very clear to me these last few weeks that I could not have depended on one person to do everything I needed. And if I had, that one “relationship bank account” as Stephen Covey described, would have been way overdrawn.

Especially if that one person was myself. 

Instead, I look to my pit crew. And my sponsors. And my fans. 

But, especially my pit crew. Because they have the capacity, the skills, the attention to offer right now. To be in the thick of it with me. Not just cheering me along, but rotating the tires and getting me back out there on the track.

Who’s in your pit crew right now? Who’s crew are you in?

As an aggregate, I believe this is how we can “find” the one, how we stay whole, how we stay true to the only “one”: our soul, our self. This is a whole life.

May your wheels be greased and your road smooth this week.

Love,
Jules

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