Oh no. This is exactly what I’m not supposed to do. And yet, my body did it anyway.
What else could I do? I was halfway up the 20-foot rock climbing wall inside the Mazamas Mountaineering Center. The same climbing center where my parents learned the fundamentals of how to safely summit a mountain and then taught these fundamentals in the Basic Climbing Education Program (BCEP) during the mid-1970s. While the gear has evolved—and there’s a ton more of it—the fundamentals that I’m now learning from my 2021 BCEP team are the same.
“Climb with your legs, not with your arms.”
I remembered this tenet from my few past rock climbing experiences. It makes perfect sense when on the ground listening to the instructor. Of course, strength and stamina are needed when hauling one’s body weight, plus a pack up a rock wall. Of course, there’s more strength and stamina in one’s legs. Especially mine from growing up playing soccer, skiing and hiking year-round.
For my first few holds up the wall, I crouched like a frog and moved from the bottom up, ascending quickly. My primitive instincts, or my Id, propelled me.
I needed to get higher, faster.
I also heard one of the instructors from below yelling about stretching as far as possible to cover more of the wall. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a tiny hold way up on the right. I stretched my right arm as high as I could, just grasping it with three fingers while my eyes found a hold for my left hand close to my helmet. I quickly grabbed for it. In the next moment of clinging, I simultaneously realized:
- that I was hovering three inches higher than before,
- that I could no longer reach the previous footholds,
- that my instincts and arms were lifting my body until my toes touched something,
- this is exactly what I wasn’t supposed to do.
I took a deep sigh into my mask. As I clung to the wall, close enough to kiss it, I acknowledged: Yes. I was scared. I was tired. I was getting careless.
My Ego kicked in. That part of the system concerned with devising a realistic strategy to obtain our instincts, according to Freud: Okay. I only had a quarter of the wall left. Totally doable. But the top was only the halfway point! I still needed to rappel myself back to the ground. Muscling through wasn’t smart. I needed to take a break.
Oh right! I could do that.
I needed to manage my energy and my effort.
Yelling “Take” down to my belay partner, I quickly felt the rope go taut. I let go of my holds, sat back into my new harness and swung out a foot or two from the wall. I took a few deep breaths and reset.
A few minutes later, I was on top of the wall and getting set up for my next challenge.
The next day, I learned I was eligible for the COVID-19 vaccine! I quickly searched: There was an appointment for the one-dose Johnson & Johnson shot on Friday morning with a 90-minute drive each way to The Dalles. It was the only appointment available so I quickly signed up. I was scheduled to facilitate later that afternoon. I had a 10-mile conditioning hike the following day. My first thought: Tight, but possible.
In that moment of clinging to my original schedule, I simultaneously realized: But, what if I got sick or tired halfway?
Instead, I asked my coworker to facilitate on Friday. I skipped the hike on Saturday, not only for the vaccine but also for my ankle that’s been hurting (injured from a minor, random dog bite in January). And while I was at it, I reached out to nearby Physical Therapy clinics for an appointment this week.
I did feel like crap on Friday night with aches and a fever and I was tired on Saturday. Gratefully, I had a wide-open weekend for rest and recovery. I realized in the excitement and intensity of the last few weeks that I accidentally missed Sabbath last weekend. Geez, I really did need to slow down, take a break and reset. Eyes on the prize: Hood or bust.
Climb with my wisdom, not just my instincts.
Climb on.
Climb high.
May you move from your center of gravity this week.
Love,
Jules
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